As I am approaching a very big milestone, I feel compelled to tell you all a part of my story. It’s a story of growth, discovery, and self-love. A journey on how I stopped being a victim and started being brave. It’s a woman’s path towards living intentionally and boldly with a passion for life.
This past week, I have been vacationing and have had a lot of time to reflect what this past year has meant to me. You see, for the first time in almost 10 years, I have been completely away from work and the craziness of my everyday life. This has allowed me to stop and take a glance back to where my life was a year ago compared to where I am now, and it has my mind completely blown. This journey has been scary, it has been tough, and it has been painful. But let me tell you, oh my goodness, it has been one hundred percent worth it!
Last summer, I found myself in one of the darkest places that I have ever been in. I was in a relationship that was not healthy for me and was trying to force it to work. I hated myself so much that I would burst into tears anytime I looked in to a mirror. Things had become so bad that I began to have debilitating anxiety attacks multiple times a week. I was barely functioning. Pushing anybody and everybody away from me that I could. By the end of June, the darkness took over. I started to have suicidal thoughts and was convinced the world would be a better place without me in it. My faith is what saved me. God spoke to me one evening and told me to wake up and talk to someone. All of a sudden, I knew the steps that I needed to take to try and clean up the mess I had created. The relationship I mentioned, I ended it. As soon as I did, it was like an elephant had been lifted off of my shoulders. I had been trying to create something that wasn’t there. Telling myself that this was what was good for me. It had been making me crazy trying to be someone that I am not, and it was not fair to him either. I was not the girl he thought I was, and I would never be. I made the phone calls and put myself into counseling. Walking through the door to see my counselor for the first time was the bravest thing that I have ever done. I knew what was coming next. I knew that she would dive deep into my soul and learn everything about me, and she did.
By the end of July, I had made so much progress getting past my demons. I was no longer having the dark thoughts and with proper medication my anxiety was finally somewhat under control. However, there was still a huge hurdle to tackle. There was so much self-hate left. Exactly one year ago this week, I was vacationing with my mom and sister in Florida. What should have been one of the best times of my life was filled with embarrassment and resentment of how I had let myself go. I despised what I saw in the mirror. I shied away from all pictures or at least tried to hide in the background. There were so many health complications that came with my poor nutrition. I could not sleep through the night, I had terrible acid reflux, and all of my joints were inflamed. I was still so miserable. When I got home from Florida I made a decision that would completely change my life. I reached out to a dear friend about her health program. Two months later, I was a different woman. I had lost almost 30 pounds, was sleeping throughout the night, and was no longer dealing with the inflammation. I was so passionate about the program and what I had accomplished that I decided to take the plunge and become a health coach myself. This was something too good not to share with the world.
The job that I had previously, limited me to how much of a commitment I could really give to my health coaching. I had only a few clients and was constantly concerned that I could not be an effective coach. I almost made the decision to stop, but God had other ideas. This past spring, I found myself at a 3D Coaching Retreat. This lit my entire soul on fire, and I knew that this was what I was supposed to be doing. So, I trusted that God would provide for me to be a better coach and mentor. That very weekend, I was contacted about a new job opportunity. One that would free up so much of my time and decrease my astronomical stress levels. By mid-May, I was offered the position and my entire life began to change. I now had the time to fully create my business and allow it to grow.
The first half of the vacation that I have been on, was spent at our National Convention. The new job gave me the freedom and opportunity to be able to travel down to Florida and attend. I had a deep love and passion for this company prior to attending convention, but afterwards, I now feel like I can change the world. Not only are the programs that we offer absolutely amazing, but now they are kicking off a charity to help underprivileged children learn healthy habits and lifestyle. You all, children are my passion! I know that this is where I am supposed to be.
I never would have been able to fully embrace a healthy lifestyle on my own. I needed the direction and knowledge to be able to teach myself how to sustainably and healthily get my body and mind back to where it should be. I have learned to love myself and this journey. I am working to be the best version of ME.
It has been almost an entire year since I made these giant life changes and that is what I am celebrating. Without every single piece of that story, I would not be the person that I have grown to be today. I pray that I continue to learn how to be brave and do the hard things. That I will live boldly and intentionally. It is my deepest desire that people will look at me and see the love of Jesus. I want to be a light to this world and now I finally feel like I can be. Truthfully, I always was, I just didn’t know it yet.